Suicidal

This evening, I found another delusional episode. After job, I felt terrible depress and distress, I keep asking myself how long I have to continue this job with certain pain on my head and suffer of incapacitation of paralyzing right brain by electro-magnetic wave attack from outer space. Nothing seems to fit. Everything is going to be doomed in my future. However I work, savings aren’t increase. Though I wanted to go England this winter for my friend’s wedding, it’s not feasible to manage it. And I had had sudden recollection while reading book that my sister’s two times miscarriages. Every tragedy may go into oblivion.

As I found myself that unreasonable pessimism and suicidal dominates on me, and I asked myself, “Am I so pessimistic?” then I hold my head by my arms inadvertently, I found my hand dull pain of hitting electro-magnetic wave, where around my top head while taking bus. I kept holding it for 10 minutes; I found myself relieved and relax.

This discovery is too good news for me, although gravely paranoiac, delusional episode. What if we could advice to whom are about to commit suicide or have an emotional outburst commit repetitive suicidal behavior? What if that suicidal was actually because of hitting vague electricity by institutionalize-raised communistic monopolistic fascistic fanatic fetishistic, pretend to be mobile phone or ancestral curse or air-conditioning or whatever, god complex, anti-intelligence ideologist, racist and celebrity complex asshole alien from outer space operating electro-magnetic wave through satellite technology?

Is that worth dying for?
In my case, maybe it is.